Then Came the Baby...

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Most of us have heard this little rhyme since we were children. Where my previous posts have been about the first two, this post will be about the third...babies! When most of us think of babies, we say the classic "aaawwwww", it is just natural. I myself love love love kids and I am beyond excited to become a mother someday, but even after all the time I have spent around couples and children, there is a lot I have not seen. Having children changes a marriage in more ways than one. Those of you who are married with children, you know exactly what I am about to talk about. The struggle starts as early as when they bring the child home. The constant crying, even screaming sometimes, can wear down two people quicker than almost anything else. Some women get what is called the "baby blues", otherwise called postpartum depression. Most women feel helpless because they feel they can't help their baby when the crying won't stop and most men feel stressed because they just have absolute no idea how to deal with this new factor in their lives. This can cause marital intimacy to decrease which can lead to a mountain of other problems pile up. The one key thing that couples can do when they decide to have children, is to talk. Communication is key in every relationship, especially in a marriage. New parents fall away from each other when they do not communicate. As hard as it may seem sometimes, when new parents talk through things, they can overcome a lot more than those who don't. This is another reason why having children before a marital commitment is not the best idea. Children are a bigger commitment than most people truly understand and as much as we all love them, until we are ready for the huge adjustment to our lives, we should wait to bring them into this world.